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The voice of: Maya Jeanne Khankhoje Sindic.
Age: 57
Occupation: Simultaneous interpreter/writer
Birthplace: Mexico City, Mexico.
Residence: Montreal, Canada.
Mother’s birthplace: Brussels, Belgium
Maternal grandfather: (?) France
Maternal grandmother: (?) Belgium
Father’s birthplace: Wardha, India
Paternal grandfather: (?) India
Paternal grandmother: (?) India
Do you feel that new immigrants to North America should assimilate into the mainstream?
No. The word assimilation is anathema to me. However, new immigrants should be part of the consensus-setting process based on human rights, that defines what mainstream is. The Ganges is a very powerful river fed from many different sources, but its waters end up in the vast ocean of life.
Would your parents object to your dating or marrying a person who was a different race than you?
They are no longer with me, but how could they have objected, having been so color blind themselves? My father contributed the dark coffee and my mother the white milk of the cafe-au-lait skin which clothes my body which is like any other body.
Do you think that children of racially mixed parents have an advantage or disadvantage growing up in today's society?
For starters, "race" is a construct invented by European anthropologists to justify their subjugation of other nations. But given that there are human groups with clusters of physical, albeit not biological, markers (since no single trait, including blood-type, eye and skin colour or hair shape is the monopoly of a single "race"), I would say the more variety the merrier! My own daughters, who have a mixture of French, Belgian, Indian, Norwegian, Mayan and Spanish ancestors, once asked me: what does that make us? My answer: Very pretty and pretty special!
What do you think of signs on businesses that don't have any English on them?
A delight for nationalist Quebecers! Jokes aside, I welcome signs in different languages, but courtesy is the better part of valor and English in a country where English is the majority language, should not be forgotten. Besides, bilingual signs create jobs for translators like myself.
Have you ever been discriminated against because of your race or the color of your skin? Can you tell us about it?
Yes, indeed! I was discriminated by a Black literary magazine in Montreal. When I mailed them a submission on Afro-American women writers, the whole editorial board replied that they were delighted with my article and would love to publish it. Two days after I met one of the members of the board at a party, I received a call from the main editor telling me my article was no good and they couldn't publish it. Later on, I found out it was because I was not of African origin. The experience was repeated with another Black community newspaper. My article was finally published by "The New Canadian Review", which, as the name implies, welcomes contributions from new Canadians regardless of their origin.
What is the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? And where were you when you ate it?
Live ants, and I was in the middle of the Amazon jungle in Ecuador.
What is your favorite "ethnic food"?
Tortillas, otherwise known as chapattis, or roti or pita or nan or flat bread or plain "wraps" as labelled by the fast food industry.
Where do you live and where have you travelled where the culture was the most different from your own?
I live in Montreal, and I've travelled to more than 40 countries, including China, Russia, Egypt, India, Latin America and Europe and I've always felt at home. The only place where I haven't, is New Haven, Ct., where we lived for nine months and in spite of my (then) American husband, I was never made to feel welcome. Sad, but true.
Do you feel that you are in touch with your culture of origin?
Yes, indeed! I make sure to keep in touch with the colorful joy of the Mexican landscape, the depths of the Indian psyche and the taste of Belgian beer and chocolates.
Have you every travelled back to your homeland(s) of your ancestors?
Yes, I've been lucky enough to have lived in India from the ages of 7 to 9 and 14 to 23. I've also visited it more than fifteen times, since my sister and other relatives live there. I've passed through Belgium several times, and met an uncle when I was little, but unfortunately I do not know my mother's few surviving relatives.
What percentage of your friends are able to speak a language other than English?
Having multilingual friends is the norm for me, especially since I live in a multilcultural city like Montreal, I'm an interpreter and I work in a UN agency.
In brief, describe your idea of a perfect world.
A perfect world is one in which humans recognise that they are but a tiny part of the biodiversity that makes nature such a wondrous thing; a world in which humanity would not be a predator species, engaged in gender, racial, social, economic and religious wars, but a nurturing species aware of its unique responsibility in the larger scheme of things. It is said that insects and humans are the only two species that are multiplying instead of declining. But there is a vast difference: insects put community before self, humans don't always live up to this ideal.
Do you ever wish that you were of another race?
Yes, indeed, I wish I were an angel! Otherwise, I'm quite content just simply being human.
Do you feel uncomfortable if you are a minority in a room full of people who are all of one race?
Only once, when I was in a room full of male executives and I was the only woman.
Are you physically attracted to people of a different race? If so, why do you think you are?
Yes, I'm attracted to males, being of the female race. I had dreamed of having children of different shapes and colors, which would have required different husbands. Unfortunately, I only had one husband and two children. Fortunately, my girls embody the beauty of the whole human race.
Did you enjoy responding to this questionnaire?
Very much, but as you can see, I had a lot of trouble with the concept of "race" because I just can't relate to it. But in a loose sense, I can understand race as something in whose name people are discriminated.
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The voice of: Jim
Age: 39
Occupation: Underwriting Sales Associate
Birthplace: New Rochelle, NY
Residence: Plattsburgh, NY
Mother’s birthplace: New Rochelle, NY
Maternal grandfather: North Carolina
Maternal grandmother: Dinwitty County, Virginia
Father’s birthplace: Somerville, NJ
Paternal grandfather: Southern Pines, North Carolina
Paternal grandmother: Columbia, South Carolina
Do you feel that new immigrants to North America should assimilate into the mainstream?
New Immigrants will assimilate at the same rate as other imigrants have. The concern is that they won't, like the immigrants in the past, seek to give up their culture in the process. This is especially
troublesome to those who want to maintain a white supremacist culture in the U.S. and are afraid of the "browning of America".
Would your parents object to you dating or marrying a person who was a different race than you?
My folks would be concerned because of the sometimes violent reaction of society (if I was with a white woman) but they wouldn't forbid me from doing it. If it was a non-white woman I don't think they would be concerned very much.
Do you think that children of racially mixed parents have an advantage or disadvantage growing up in today's society?
It depends on their situation. I know of biracial (black/white parentage) children being raised by their white mothers in rural predominately white areas who are going through a lot of problems. Many of their family members are racist and some of them are denying their racial heritage by claiming Latino heritage. It's probably a different situation with children who grow up in places that are close to areas of cultural diversity. But, some folks get into interacial relationships to get away from their cultures and if this is the case the children of those realtionships are going to have a difficult time forming an identity. If, on the other hand, the families are open to cultural diversity the children will probably be strong enough to withstand the slings of society.
What do you think of affirmative action and racial quotas in the workplace?
I think that since the white "all boy's clubs" already practice racial quotas and self-promoting affirmative action I don't have a problem with it being used to bring some equity to society. The argument that non-qualified "people of color" are getting jobs through affirmative action is specious at best. Let's be honest...how many of us have seen or worked for white males that only have their jobs because of the fact that they have low levels of melanin and possess a penis? I have and I know that I'm not the only one. I think that if we all began to speak truth to power about this some of the anti-affirmative action arguments would go away and folks would be forced to discuss the issues truthfully.
Have you ever been discriminated against because of your race or the color of your skin? Tell us about it?
I'm a 39 year old African-American male...if I hadn't been discriminated against yet it would be a miracle! The forms have been overt and subtle and range from DWB (Driving While Black), being followed in stores and not being waited on in stores to being beaten by police while at an anti-KKK rally.
What is the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? And where were you when you ate it?
Uni (sea urchin). I ate it ath the family home of aJapanese-American woman I was dating. She & I had gone out to get sushiand I didn't like the "caviar" sushi that was offered so I chose uni. When we got back to her parents house her mother said, "Eeeew! Who got theuni?". When I said that I got it her father said, "You like that stuff?It's disgusting!". I proceeded to taste it and it was way too strong forme and I could see why they never ate it.
What is your favorite "ethnic" food?
It's a tie between sushi/sashimi , Ethiopian cuisine & collard greens.
Where do you live and where have you traveled where the culture was the most different from your own?
I live, for the past 8 months, in a rural area after having lived in an urban area all of my life. The only place outside of the US that I've ever travelled to was Senegal. It was a different culture from what I was used to but then so is this rural area!
Do you feel that you are in touch with your culture of origin?
Yes, but not limited by it. It's my base but it's not all that I am.
Have you ever traveled back to the homeland(s) of your ancestors? Why not, if you haven't?
I travelled to Senegal but I'm not sure where my African ancestors came from.
What percentage of your friends are able to speak a language other
than English? 70%
In brief, describe your idea of a perfect world.
One where I didn't have to be concerned with issues of race and ethnicity. One where I didn't have to justify my interest in different cultures. One where virtual borders didn't exist and I wouldn't need a passport to travel. One where people were more interested in similarties than differences and reveled in those similarities. One where people went by the belief that "nothing human is alien to me".
Are you physically attracted to people of a different race? If so, why do you think you are?
I've been physically attracted to women of different races because of who, not what they are. I've dated women from all over the world and of many different racial and ethnic groups. I don't get into
objectifying folks based on their race or ethnicity. I look for intelligence, a sense of curiosity about the world and different cultures, a nice smile and sensuality.
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The voice of: Jennifer Wilson
Age: 29
Birthplace: Louisiana
Residence: Cincinnati, Ohio
Mother’s birthplace: Kentucky
Maternal grandfather: Kentucky
Maternal grandmother: Kentucky
Father’s birthplace: Ohio
Paternal grandfather: South Carolina
Paternal grandmother: Alabama
Would your parents object to your dating or marrying a person who was a different race than you?
They wouldn't prefer it, but they would find a way to deal.
Do you think that children of racially mixed parents have an advantage or disadvantage growing up in today's society?
Both.......An advantage would be seeing the world from multiple vantage points which could lead to being able to "interpret" different cultures, but a disadvantage is that the child could feel left out, that is not part of either culture
What do you think of signs on businesses that don't have any English on them?
It's most comfortable for me to see signs in English because that's the only language I'm fluent in, but I recognize that the world doesn't revolve around me. Maybe they could have international symbols on them (even the ones in English).
What is your favorite "ethnic food"? Bagels
Where do you live and where have you travelled where the culture was the most different from your own?
Sadly, the biggest culture shock I experienced was when my parents separated and my mom and I moved from military life into the civilian world --- one that had no idea how to handle a worldly 11-year-old black girl
Have you every travelled back to your homeland(s) of your ancestors?
When my dad was stationed in Europe, we took a very short trip to a northern African city. Most of the people there were from Europe, however, even if they were from Africa, it wouldn't have mattered; the most specific thing I know about my ancestral homeland is the continent.
In brief, describe your idea of a perfect world.
In a perfect world, people could just "be." No one would tell another "You're too ___," "You're not __ enough." "Why are you being so __?" They might only make these statements if a person wasn't being true to her/himself and was trying to live up to someone else's standards (be those standards set by someone ouside or inside the race/culture of the person in question).
Do you ever wish that you were of another race?.
When I was younger, I thought that being another race would solve some of my problems, but I soon realized that that would only be trading in one set of problems for another.
Do you feel uncomfortable if you are a minority in a room full of people who are all of one race?
Only if the room full of people and I relate to each other only on that plane......if we're all focused on something we have in common or the reason that we all ended up in that room, I don't feel uncomfortable, but at that point I wouldn't be in the minority, would I?
Did you enjoy responding to this questionnaire?
It was thought provoking
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The voice of: Todd Andrade Layland
Age: 27
Occupation: College student/Legal secretary
Birthplace: San Jose, California
Residence: Chicago, Illinois
Mother’s birthplace: Oceanside, California
Maternal grandfather: Amado, Arizona
Maternal grandmother: Fillmore, California
Father’s birthplace: Oceanside, California
Paternal grandfather: Chicago, Illinois
Paternal grandmother: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Do you feel that new immigrants to North America should assimilate into the mainstream?
I think this is a moot question. Immigrants (unless they are very old when they arrive) DO assimilate. Although assimilation does not always consist of attaining instant fluency in English, English is usually learned in time. Native-born residents unfamiliar with immigrant cultures might think otherwise and offer the existence of predominantly non-English-speaking enclaves as evidence that newcomers don't learn to speak English. However, these enclaves are generally home only to recent arrivals who are unable to afford other housing and who find comfort in surroundings reminiscent of home. Most immigrants move away from these densely populated urban neighborhoods as soon as they have the communication skills and economic ability to do so.
Would your parents object to your dating or marrying a person who was a different race than you?
Not at all. Although my paternal grandparents probably would, seeing as they have always disapproved of my (Anglo) father's marriage to my (Mexican American) mother.
Do you think that children of racially mixed parentage have an advantage or disadvantage growing up in today's society?
It depends. If you can accept yourself and are in-touch with all segments of your heritage, I think you could have an advantage. If you feel confused and lacking in identity, then you're definitely
at a disadvantage. I took me more than 20 years to embrace my Mexican ancestry. Why? Because I could "pass" for Anglo and this was a convenient way for me to avoid certain stigmas prevalent in an environment (California) where Mexicans are often looked down upon. I'm not proud of this, but it's the truth. Now, I cherish my family background. I'm not yet fluent in Spanish, but hey, I'm learning!
What do you think of affirmative action and racial quotas in the workplace?
I think that we always have practiced forms of racial preference. This was a bad manner in which to build a playing field, but it seems that we're stuck with it. I can't imagine that all preferences would ever be eliminated. For example, by doing so, the university enrollment in California would be predominantly Asian if only test scores were taken into consideration and I don't see THAT happening anytime soon. I think it's fine to employ tools to ensure fair hiring and encourage a diverse workforce, school, etcetera. But how do you ensure fairness? Who makes the rules?
What do you think of signs on businesses that don't have any English on them?
(1) Gee, I guess there are a lot of folks in this neighborhood that don't speak English! and if the sign is hanging from a restaurant (2) Hmm, is the food good?
Do you think that all signs should have at least some English on them?
No. Why should they? If you can't understand what the sign says and you're too intimidated to walk inside and ask, then why should you care?
Have you ever been discriminated against because of the color of your skin?
No. But people have told me stupid things after they learned that my ancestry is Mexican American. "But you're okay! It's those wetbacks that I don't like..." I have, however, been discriminated against because I'm gay. Big surprise there.
What is the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? And where were you when you ate it?
I ate deep-fried alligator in New Orleans. It was good, but what isn't when it's deep-fried?
What is your favorite "ethnic" food?
Does Mexican count or should it be something I didn't grow up with? If I were limited to five dishes for the rest of my life, they'd be: spicy Asian noodles, bagels with cream cheese and lox, burritos, pizza and sushi.
What percentage of your friends are able to speak a language other than English?
Maybe one-third? Spanish, Korean and Chinese, mostly.
In brief, describe your idea of a perfect world.
Chicago's architecture, Vancouver's physical setting, California's ethnic diversity and Amsterdam's social tolerance.
Do you ever wish that you were of another race? Nope.
Do you feel uncomfortable if you are a minority in a room full of people who are all of one race?
Not usually. Unless all of the other people are assholes.
Are you physically attracted to people of a different race? If so, why do you think you are?
Yes, definitely. I think I'm attracted to persons and things different from myself. Always have been and always will be.
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The voice of: Tattianna Russie (name changed)
Age: 18
Birthplace: Iran
Residence: Toronto, Ontario
Mother’s birthplace: Iran
Maternal Grandfather’s birthplace: Iran
Maternal Grandmother’s birthplace: Iran
Father’s birthplace: Iran
Paternal Grandfather’s birthplace: Iran
Paternal Grandmother’s birthplace: Iran
Have you ever been discriminated against because of your race or color of your skin? Do you have memories of them? Tell us about one of them in brief.
The stereotype is that Persians are terrorists and Persian men are abusive. I have been asked many times if my father hits me. Also in grade 11, I was once told by a certain teacher “Go back to your country, and stop using our educational system! (Exact words) Because I refused to recognize Canada as my home country. Because it isn’t. I was born in Iran. I can’t change that.
Are you physically attracted to people of a different race? If so, why do you think you are?
Yes, I find black men very attractive. To be honest, it is because they are so hair free, and Persian men are just so hairy!! I’m being honest.
What is the most unusual thing you’ve ever eaten? And where were you when you ate it?
1. Boiled cow’s head, it is a sort of stew. In Iran.
2. Fried cow’s heart. In Canada.
Do you feel that new immigrants to North America should assimilate into the mainstream?
To a certain extent. It is impossible to maintain one’s complete culture when moving to North America, and it is impossible to lead the same life as one did in his home country. But it is not necessary for the immigrant to be “white washed” either. For example, now that we are living in Canada, we have started to use deodorant. If we do not then it is going to affect the quality of our lives here.
Have you ever traveled back to the homeland(s) of your ancestors?
Yes I have, and it just made me more thankful that I live in Canada.
Do you or did you ever wish that you were another race other than your own? If so, why?
I wished at one point that I was “white” as in English or Scottish. Life seemed to be easier for them. But now I understand everyone has their disadvantages. I’m a happy Persian now.
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The voice of: Stephan Dunphy
Age: 25
Birthplace: New Jersey
Residence: Los Angeles
Mother’s birthplace: Korea
Maternal grandfather: Korea
Maternal grandmother: Korea
Father’s birthplace: Brooklyn
Paternal grandfather: Ireland
Paternal grandmother: Poland
Do you feel that new immigrants to North America should assimilate into the mainstream?
Immigrants to North America need to learn about the culture into which they are migrating. This does not necessitate the need to assimilate, but to learn and build an understanding about the culture in which they are surrounded. Undoubtedly, there can be some difficulty in trying to assimilate, but ideally, I see every immigrant bringing with them something to contribute to the culture that is part of North America: whether it be the United States, or whatever, and likewise taking from what North America has to offer.
Would your parents object to you dating or marrying a person who was a different race than you?
Ten years ago, yes, my parents, though mixed, would have had difficulty understanding certain mixed relationships. But, before they passed away, they learned to appreciate the people I dated for who they were and not where they were from or what they looked like. It was quite interesting to see that transition of my parents to go from a very conservative (like America at the time) standpoint to one more accepting of diversity and change.
Do you think that children of racially mixed parentage have an advantage or disadvantage growing up in today’s society? Why?
I don’t think you can peg this one with a “yes, advantage” or “no, disadvantage” answer as it truly depends on the parents. I think I was fortunate enough to have two parents that loved me very much and helped me to become who I am today, but I don’t think that has to do with the fact that they were an interracial couple. In one aspect, I am fortunate to have experienced another culture, or cultures, but I am sure that there are a lot of non-mixed children that were afforded the opportunity to experience a wide array of cultures and diversity through their parents and their own initiative.
Have you ever been discriminated against because of your race or the color of your skin? Tell us about it.
I have been discriminated against. Mostly when I was a kid growing up in a pretty much white neighborhood. Our family was one of only two or three Asian families in the whole town, and I grew up constantly tormented by my peers. I tell you, grammar school kids can be vicious! I sure got into a lot of fights growing up, nothing too shocking, mostly “chink, slant eyes, jap, etc,” secretly I laughed, because I was Korean, not Chinese or Japanese, it showed how stupid they were!
Where do you live and where have you traveled where the culture was the most different from your own?
I live in Los Angeles. Most different, probably Bulgaria, or France.
What percentage of your friends are able to speak a language other than English?
70%+
Do you or did you ever wish that you were of another race? If so, why?
I am very proud of who and what I am. Wouldn’t have changed it for anything, not even when getting beat up by the school bully in third grade.
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The voice of: Molly Jones (name changed)
Age: 37
Birthplace: Worchester, MA
Residence: New York, NY
Mother’s birthplace: Malden, MA
Maternal grandfather: Somerville, MA
Maternal grandmother: Malden, MA
Father’s birthplace: Trenton, NJ
Paternal grandfather: London, England
Paternal grandmother: Mayfield, KY
Do you feel that new immigrants to North America should assimilate into the
mainstream?
I believe in assimilation and I enjoy ethnic and cultural diversity. I think new immigrants should make the effort to learn English, for the sake of the immigrants and the sake of the larger community. First generation immigrants obviously have bigger obstacles to overcome, and often do so by working in a business already established within their own community: thus the Indian newsstands, Korean delis and Pakistani gas stations in New York. The real question to me is what will the second generation do? Hopefully assimilate more, educate themselves more, and have more choices. I know people who seem completely at ease in mainstream culture, but have also maintained a strong sense of ethnic and cultural identity from their home life. Maybe the process takes a generation.
Would your parents object to you dating or marrying a person who was a different race than you?
At my age, my parents would be happy if I married a MAN! They’ve grudgingly accepted my boyfriends from various cultures and races, and they’ve become much more open-minded while observing my prolonged adolescence. And they’ve seen two of their daughters make poor choices with men of the same ethnicity. But they still have a spectrum of acceptable to unacceptable ethnicities which ranges from “those most like "us” to “those most different.” I do believe if I found a really good partner they would support my choice regardless of race. They would voice their objections initially, but I think they would accept it. Ten years ago, no way.
What is the most unusual thing you’ve ever eaten? And where were you when you
ate it?
That would be my own cooking, which I had at home. I always set off the fire alarm.
Do you feel that you are in touch with your culture of origin?
What is my culture?
I’m a wonderbread girl.
In brief, describe your idea of a perfect world.
I’ll take you there . . . Black music, oriental food, latin lovers. Ocean. Variety. Population growth under control. No strip malls or trailer parks. Everyone would have good taste.
Do you or did you ever wish that you were of another race? If so, why?
Often, especially when I was younger. I have this romantic idea about other races, that they’re warmer, more alive than mine. I always envied that. A friend once told me that I need to realize that WASP is also an ethnic identity. I suppose she’s right, but I never felt that way. I felt like a non-identity, a clear plastic bag, empty, which I tried to fill up with all the colorful things I found around me. As I get older and more comfortable with myself I no longer feel so envious of other people, but diversity still attracts and inspires me.
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The voice of: Gordon (name changed)
Age: 35
Birthplace: New York, NY
Residence: New York, NY
Mother’s birthplace: Massachusetts
Maternal Grandfather’s birthplace: New York State
Maternal Grandmother’s birthplace: Pennsylvania
Father’s birthplace: Washington D.C.
Paternal Grandfather’s birthplace: North Carolina
Paternal Grandmother’s birthplace: North Carolina
Would your parents object to you dating or marrying a person who was a different race than you?
No, because they did. Well, sorta.
Do you think that children who are multi-racial have an advantage or disadvantage growing up in today’s society? Why?
Powerful advantage though with some pitfalls. The pitfalls being the separate and powerful tides of society which force choice. The older you get, the more rigid the boundaries. Puberty, Junior High School, High School, College and the Workplace were lessons in one’s opportunities as much as in one’s place. And each brings on a new awareness of the true stratification of our society and its challenges. At each stage, I was faced with a renewed and rigid choice to be either black or white. Each stage was just as difficult, but they grew in intensity and depth, for each came with harder questions before the previous ones had been answered. To avoid the choice often left one not feeling as “both”, but actually “neither”. Blacks, I found, were accepting. Partly for my tan skin, which in America is inarguably black, but also, outsiders often accept and understand outsiders. Many whites, who sincerely tried to be accepting, often built a second hurdle between us through their naiveté on issues and comments which hurt me daily. College was a harsh introduction to the real world in every sense. It was fascinating, and hopeless to see how one institution could house and espouse such segregation. And beyond college, riding the bus and subway home from work, it was just as amazing to watch the colors change as though riding through the softened but distinct colors of a rainbow. These days in particular, they feel more distinct than ever.
So that’s the difficult side. Choosing. Picking a side. As a child I answered the surprisingly common question of “which are you”, with my name. Beginning somewhere around age 12, I began to answer “black.” And I still do. A little late compared to some friends. And interestingly, a conscious decision. That, I guess, is the potential dilemma of mixed parentage. Somewhere inside, you feel you have a choice. Whether real or not. I feel I made the right choice so long as there’s a struggle. So long as that is the way the world faces me. I’d like to think I would have chosen it in any case, but it’s been the source of a lot of pain, and my honest answer at this point in my life is I can’t say. I guess I could still choose to live this life fooling myself. I see people of color like this and find it absurd and weak. Harsh, but it’s how I would feel about myself. It’s easy to side with the powerful. Most who can, do.
I do know though that I am thankful for everything I am and everything I have been through, and can’t imagine or contemplate being anything else. Being born black, feels like being born a peaceful child and immediately handed a sword and shield. Born to fight. The shield was life-saving. The sword was borne of futility. And even though you know they are man-made, artificial, there are always others who don’t care. And somewhere inside, when I’m honest and at peace, I’m Gordon, the son my mother loves, regardless of our two colors.
Have you ever been discriminated against because of your race or the color of your skin? Do you have memories of them? Tell us about one of them in brief?
I got some. Particularly early ones since I know better how to avoid them now. My mom’s white from New England, my father’s black from the South, I’m a heady mixture. My sister has a different father, white. So she’s blonde and blue-eyed. Forever tripped people out to find out we were brother and sister.
I don’t know how deeply it affected me, honestly, especially as I know she has a mouth on her, but there was always something that she could, at the heart of a fight, call me that I could never call her. And nothing I had ever came close.
One other, my best friend, Joey, and I, when we were about 13 years old, were coming home from a popular street near our neighborhood. Between it and home was Little Italy. Both black, we knew to avoid it, but this day we were especially tired and feeling fairly sure people wouldn’t care to bother us. But basically we didn’t want to walk all the way around it yet again that afternoon.
Halfway home, I felt a sharp thud in my back and turned, the same time as Joey, to see that both of us had been kicked in the back by two little 8 year- olds. They were both “niggerizing” us and wanting a fight, as a few older friends of theirs were coming up behind them. It was afternoon, sunny, we had absent-mindedly taken a route along the street of their park and just then, with one glance, noticed just about everyone, everyone in windows, in the park, on the street had been watching us in disgust, and some coming towards us. These two tiny little 8 year-olds were about to bring all of hell down upon our heads.
It hurt so badly, but I’ll never forget in slow motion, that funny, and very certain look we gave each other as we turned toward each other and continued the turn into a run towards home, as fast as we could, away from these two tiny little bastards.
We spent a good while that afternoon, time and time again, acting out just what we would have done on safer ground with those microperpetrators, by kicking and kicking and kicking against an innocent fence.
One last one, years ago traveling in Goa, India and having the very dark skinned Indian boy who cleaned my room daily, trying to strike up a conversation by asking me if I was a nigger.
What is the most unusual thing you’ve ever eaten? And where were you when you ate it?
The night in Patna, India of trying politely to eat a stewed treat a friend’s mother decided to make just for me, a westerner, of fresh chicken. A chicken which I earlier had the pleasure of watching have its throat slit, thrown into a blood-stained barrel, flailing headlessly, stripped of feathers, dumped into a plastic bag, then onto my lap. And riding home on the rickshaw with this still-warm bag of death heating my lap.
Where do you live and where have you traveled where the culture was the most different from your own?
I live in New York City. India. Without a doubt, India. I haven’t yet been to other parts of Asia, but India was like landing on another planet and time, without the rationality of a spaceship.
Do you feel that you are in touch with your culture?
Which one? Yes. My primary identity in this country is black. The biggest part of which I feel is being engaged in the struggle. I feel I am part of the struggle, the awareness, and the strength. I’m not given as much opportunity to be my white side, though it is a powerful part of me as well. The most difficult challenge I have, especially in the current separatist climate, is resolving the external differences between the two internally. There is a lot of conflict. For worse and for better. Also, due to the mostly white and Spanish neighborhood I live in, the loss of some close friends (to obligation and death) and my own lack of effort, I’ve not had as strong a connection to the black community as I once had. I find I now have to put some effort into building black friendships up to the level they once were in my life. I believe it is important for everyone to every now and then notice what their close friends look like. Do they represent the plurality I wish for? I pick my close friends carefully, but if I want greater global effort in unity, I’d be a stupid hypocrite if I didn’t try, continually, to find and keep friends from all walks of life. Not superficially, not because they’re black, Chinese or white. I feel we all have much more common ground than we’re led to believe. And we all have powerful histories. In other words, everyone should have their own affirmative action plan, meaning a little more effort to gain a little more representation. Fair. We all gain by each others’ efforts. Not at the loss of quality, just more time spent searching out people in the separate places society forces us. Don’t compromise, just look harder.
What percentage of your friends are able to speak a language other than English?
Most, I think, I’d say 65-70%. Spanish, Italian and Mandarin.
Are you physically attracted to people of a different race? If so, why do you think you are?
I generally find other cultures to be very attractive. I find my own culture to be very attractive. I can’t think of any women from any culture I don’t find attractive. Each culture and person has their “flavor”, but it all seems good enough to eat. I find New York City women to be exciting, mostly for their diversity and yet their commonality for some reason. That blend. I do believe different people and different cultures can be a spanking new adventure if both are game. (No, no spanking.) I think there’s a natural attraction to diversity, often shallow, often not. And then there are the pedestalled queens of our dominant Euro-culture which are hammered into our skulls with every commercial, soap opera or MTV video from birth. We all fall for it a little. For all men it’s the shortest dash at power. And casual sex is often a mutually exciting game of power. Regardless of gender or sexuality. Throwing color and/or class into the mix and its anger, sadness, aspirations, guilt, presumptions really stirs it up. For both. All stems from power or lack of it. All from the roots of racism.
I do believe that friendships and attraction of different cultures has inherent excitement, especially when accompanied by open minds. It gets ugly and sad when the reasons are for your own weird role-playing stemming from racism, sexism or frustration. We all have them to a degree and they often find matches, which in many ways does sort of justify them; you know, two people, closed doors, better weird sex than war. And I do feel we all go where we know. But it sometimes doesn’t. A lot of these role-playing fantasies are rooted in the desire for power or self-justification that a segregated and racist society creates.
Do you feel uncomfortable if you are a minority in a room full of people who are all of one race?
It’s honestly the way I feel living in America. The Big White Room. Run by the Big White House. I feel when I’m in a home or club where there are diverse people whom I feel more akin to, I feel like we’re in a little pocket that very few people are aware of or could even participate in. In spite of the fact it seems more the way things should be. There are very few people who are not black who I can be fully myself with. Without explanation. Without offense. Without threat. Even though the only thing in danger are their safe ideas about me and others like me.
Describe your idea of a perfect world.
Lotsa fucking between all sorts of colors, sexes, nationalities. “Black, White, Puerto Rican, Everybody just-a freakin’”. One big funky, chunky soup. That and a good open-minded, ironclad, politician- and patriotism-proof, globally oriented educational system which teaches more about our elder cultures rather than our monied ones. Where the clamoring to greater scientific and industrial heights, speeds, competitiveness, profits and technologies our schools presently encourage, is changed. I feel this is the cause of the imminent dangers we as a race are faced with. There seem a few things all people share, but they are 90% of who we are. We simply need to eat, breathe, mate and live a reasonable number of years, then die. All of these, with one exception, are threatened by our frenzied addiction to control.
Where commercialism does not define knowledge. Nor does capital. Easy huh? Where all boundaries are worn out by the wear and tear of constant travel. Where rich bastards can be rich, but not nearly as much as they are. The richer they need to be, the more they must “give back”. Where the primary recipient of their contributions is not each other or the military, but those who have much less. One where those who have much less, still have a home, food, education and real opportunities for job. Jobs geared towards individual contentment, rather than the simple, most efficient, methods of pumping wealth upwards. Smaller, bite-sized communities, where no one feels outside the scope of the daily life and health of the community. Where everyone feels a strong connection to each other and a sense of who and what we’re all there for. A primary cultural goal of goodness, rather than power, wealth, fame, control, simple accumulation and competition.
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The voice of: Celeste
Age: 17
Birthplace: Canada
Residence: Toronto, Ontario
Mother’s birthplace: Jamaica
Maternal Grandfather’s birthplace: Jamaica
Maternal Grandmother’s birthplace: Panama
Father’s birthplace: Jamaica
Paternal Grandfather’s birthplace: Spain
Paternal Grandmother’s birthplace: Cuba
Would your parents object to you dating or marrying a person who was a different race that you?
No, because both my parents came from families where their sibling are interracially married.
What is the most unusual thing you’ve ever eaten? And where were you when you ate it?
Deer meat. I know it doesn’t sound unusual, but I’d never had it until a year ago. I was at my friend’s house and her father gave me a piece. I did not like it. The meat tasted too strong.
Do you feel that you are in touch with your culture of origin?
Not really. When it comes to the Spanish culture I am totally lost. I’ve never been taught to speak Spanish even though my father does. I have never been to any Spanish speaking countries or anything. We do eat Spanish foods and listen to Spanish music, but I don’t think that is much.
Do you or did you ever wish that you were another race other than your own? If so, why?
I used to wish that my coloring was darker. When I was younger my sister used to make fun of how pale I was, because she is darker than myself. So I used to wish I was darker.
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